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Author: Paula Danzigerr /
Plot synopsis:
Fourteen ¡V year ¡V old Phoebe has to deal with a split family life since her parents divorce, experiencing all the problems joint custody brings. She lives with her father in Woodstock during the week and at weekends goes down to New York City to be with her mother, riding the Divorce Express.
Phoebe does not make friends anywhere and feels lonely and isolated until she met Rosie who travels up and down to N.Y. on the same bus ....
A growing girl should have parents who act more like grown-ups. Parents are supposed to know what they want out of life and not be confused and constantly making a lot of changes.
Her parents started getting their act together by breaking up. It was a real shock because she did not expect divorce. She had no to say. It was all arranged.
Her mother got to stay in their N.Y. apartment whereas her father got the summer house in Woodstock and also the car.
But both of them got her, joint custody.
That¡¦s why Phoebe lived half a week with one parent, the second half with the other.
For all of eight grade she commuted between the two apartments. During that time she realised the differences between her parents.
Her mother always likes her to wear designer clothes and enjoys living in the city working as an interior decorator.
In contrast her father is always buying her message T- shirts, loving the country and painting.
But after the separation and divorce something happened to her. She never turned in any homework and once she snack in the school because of being too early with the consequence that she was suspended from school for a week. While all of this was being discussed, other decisions were made.
Her mother decided to open up her own design business, so she would have to travel more.
Her father decided to quit his job to live two years in the country. So to be with her mother she went down to N.Y. riding the divorce express which is a bus that leaves Woodstock on Fridays afternoons and returns Sundays filled with kids who live with one parent in town and visit the other parent in N.Y. City. At that point divorce is good for the economy.
Having no friends in the country made her think that her childhood is not easy and after a time she also began to miss her mother. But whenever she dialled her it seems that she has no time for her daughter what gave Phoebe the feeling of never getting used to the divorce.
Her father, a 38 year old single man, loves to listen live music in bars and also liking the waitress there makes Phoebe angry because she has fear to get a stepmother.
The divorce was not the only problem for her because her best friend Katie and her friend Andy who live in N.Y. started going out together what was the reason to say that Woodstock is the place where she has to make a new life.
According to her opinion kids who have gone through divorces are more used to handling problems.
She also has Rosie who she met riding the divorce express and whose mother went out with Phoebe¡¦s father. Her new school is so different than the school in N.Y. because it looks like a factory, sells an awful food and that¡¦s why the pupils try to combat this problem by organising meetings to talk about solutions. That was one reason Phoebe refused to go to her mother but even though she does not like her mother¡¦s friend Duane who talks down to her as if she is three years old and she also don¡¦t like to think about her parents having sex with anyone but each other. Her friend Rosie has the same destiny but she also told that her father spends all the money on his wife¡¦s two kids even without supporting her mother.
All they want to have is a good family and they make plans what their lives are going to be like when they are on their own. They talk about every problem they have what make them feel good but at one point they are different because Phoebe thinks more about the present and Rosie about the future.
In her free time she went to the first meeting of KRAPS which stands for Kilmerites Rebel Against Poor Sustenance where a lot of pupils talk about the first step they can do to combat the awful food at school. Dave, a boy who attends her school attracts her because of his openness and his courage to ask her if she wants to go out with him. On the other hand she is happy that now her parents act like people who have a past history together and try to be civilised. When her mother once called to talk about her broken relationship Phoebe wants to make things all better for her but it is hard enough to cope with her own.
She likes to go out with Dave, having dinner and fun but talking about his family makes her feel sad and also the fact to be an only child. She introduced Dave to her father but at that moment it was not easy to be a parent and seeing that his daughter is growing up.
On Thanksgiving Eve Phoebe and Rosie were on the way down to the city when suddenly the bus had a break and could not drive on. So they had to join another bus and in N.Y. Phoebe¡¦s mother came to catch both. Phoebe got up set when she heard that her mother wants her to get Duane better to know because she can not. She can¡¦t deal with him but her mother puts pressure on her, however, she has to accept him.
For her the man is a real creep and the one her mother wants to marry. Phoebe also got to know that she wants to sell the apartment she had lived in she was born. She feels like a visitor and not like a part of her mother¡¦s life.
In Woodstock both children were caught by Mindy and Jim. The first reaction of Phoebe was that she began to cry and to tell about the marriage and her feelings against her mother.
Her father only said that divorce and remarriage means having more people in her life. Phoebe was curious what was going on behind her back. The answer was that Rosie¡¦s mother and Phoebe¡¦s father have been going out since they first met and began to like each other.
It also means that maybe once Rosie will be her ¡§sister¡¨. But at first she decides to go to her mother¡¦s wedding because she is her mother and she will always be.
"Ñ NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE ASPECTS OF LONE PARENTHOOD
Generally there are two main routes of entry into lone parenthood:
- relationship breakdown and
- the birth of a child outside marriage
There are also two main routes out:
- re- partnership
- and children growing up
All lone parents cease to be lone parents as their children grow up but re-partnership is becoming less popular and so exit rates from lone parenthood are falling.
Thus not only are there more people becoming lone parents but those who do are staying lone parents for longer.
A mixed picture emerges when examining the quality of life of lone parents and their children.
On the one hand, negative aspects include:
- much poverty, debt and material hardship. Lone parents spend almost as much on their
children as do married parents and try and protect their children from poverty by spending less on themselves.
- not having a partner with whom to talk and share decision-making, leading to a heavy
burden of responsibility
On the other hand there is a positive aspect to life as a lone parent:
- The children are a source of great love and pride and most lone parents put family life at the top of the list of things that are important to them.
"Ñ GRIEF AND DEATH
Experiencing the death of a person carries with it the most enormous trauma and adjustment.
If the relationship was a loving and positive one then the sense of loss and grief can feel unbearable. Grieving takes a long time and sometimes people are embarrassed by grief that tends to go on too long. It is difficult to cope with other people¡¦s pain and there may be little we can do to help them to get over it.
So, after the funeral and the socially acceptable time to sympathise, people tend to shun the newly bereaved, and the newly bereaved tend to shun the world at large.
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